I Have a Confession To Make.......

This is a story about hiding what we have done well, not celebrating our achievements, our resilience, our creativeness and the greatest bits about us.  It’s a true story about me and The Woman That Farms, I am embarrassed to share it, but I’m going to because I think many of us feel the way that I have felt.

I have always been a very private person, up until recently I didn’t “do” social media at all, in fact I hated it, I hated the fakeness and the negativity that it’s full of. It just wasn’t a place for me to spend my time – in truth other than posting and the few select accounts I follow I don’t spend time there now. 

I have blogged and run businesses online for almost two decades but revealed very little about myself.  I used to be ashamed of my past, my “failures” and afraid of judgment.  I kept myself kind of hidden in the shadows too afraid to come out.  But over time I’ve learned the art of not giving a f*%k and got past caring about what anyone thought of me.  I’d also realised just how far I’d come on my journey and for the first time had given myself a metaphorical pat on the back for my efforts.

About last September time I started getting a niggle, something inside me I hadn’t felt before pushing me to start a website about my farm life.  I hadn’t blogged for a number of years by now and couldn’t understand why I felt like I should at this point in my life. 

The feeling wasn’t just about blogging I felt this pull towards finally telling my story to the world.  I dismissed these feelings and thoughts for months but it was still on my mind that I should do it.  I’d make up excuses like I wouldn’t know what to call this new website and when would I find time?  But the name popped into my head effortlessly and I somehow found some time!

It wasn’t until December time last year that I finally gave in to my feelings and put together a Wordpress site, changed the name on an old Instagram account I had from years earlier and set up a facebook page.  I still didn’t really know why I was doing it and being an over thinker, I questioned my own motives. 

I surprised myself with my posts and how much love I was putting into my new little website, I kept telling myself how much I was exposing myself and shouldn’t that bother me?  But it didn’t, and every post I wrote just flowed from the heart, it all felt so right and so lovely but I still didn’t know why.

Only a short time after starting to post on social media I started getting messages from people, people were thanking me because my posts made them realise they weren’t alone having gone through “stuff” or whilst going through “stuff”.  This was immensely humbling to me, to know my story was helping others made me feel so much gratitude for the struggles and in truth helped me heal some still open wounds.

Then I remembered all the times – good times and bad – I’d found inspiration, guidance and help just when I needed it, how that helped me push through and how grateful I was at the time to know I wasn’t alone.

Within a couple of months, unintentionally I started to produce online classes to help people start a business from home, on mindset and wellness, The Woman That Farms started to become a business, I had no idea how I was going to find the time to continue to run this business once my retreat opened and I was exhibiting my herbal teas, etc, etc, but I carried on anyway and TWTF’s grew.

The Woman That Farms has been the most soulful thing I’ve ever done, I’m so proud of it, I’m so pleased to be able to help other people and I’m so pleased I stepped out of the shadows after all these years!

For years I thought I had nothing to offer, I was wrong.  There is always someone that needs to hear your story, there is always someone that can use the skills you have even when you don’t feel talented or that you have much to say.

The first moral of this story is I am going to stop being shy/guarded about celebrating the things I have worked hard to create, things that I built with love and the fullest heart and from the soul.  More importantly, I hope you will do the same.  This week I encourage you to think about one thing you are proud of and share it with someone in your family, friends, online community or wherever you feel comfortable celebrating your skills, talents and dedication.

The second moral of the story is trust your intuition especially when it keeps niggling and trust in the magic of new beginnings.  If I hadn’t started TWTF’s I would have zero income right now and life would have been thrown right back into the uncertainty I spent years clawing my way out of.  TWTF's was never set up as a business or to make a living from but it's turned in to something I would never have imagined.

Much love.  Stay safe, strong and positive

Erica x

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